The Joke Page

What did one tornado say to the other tornado?

Want to play Twister?

Tom: Have you heard the joke about the bed?

Lily: No.

Tom: It hasn't been made yet!

Why did the chicken cross the playground?
To get to the other slide!

What time of the year is the best to use a trampoline?

Spring time!

Teacher: Jimmy, how did you get that swelling on your nose?

Jimmy: I bent to smell a brose in my garden.

Teacher: There's no "b" in "rose".

Jimmy: There was in this one!

What do you call four bull fighters in quicksand?
Quatro sinko.

Sam: Can you see the movie clearly?

Pam: Yes, thank you.

Sam: No one is blocking your view?

Pam: No, I can see just fine.

Sam: And are you comfortable?

Pam: Yes, thank you, I'm very comfortable.

Sam: Then would you change seats with me?

What's in the middle of nowhere?

The letter "h"!

A frog goes into a bank and approaches the loan officer. He can see from her nameplate that the teller's name is Patricia Whack. So he says, "Ms. Whack, I'd like to get a loan to buy a boat and go on a long vacation."
    Patti looks at the frog in disbelief and asks how much he wants to borrow. The frog says $30,000. The teller asks his name and the frog says that his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's OK, he knows the bank manager.
    Patti explains that $30,000 is a large amount of money and that he will need some collateral to secure the loan. She asks if he has anything he can use as collateral. The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produces a tiny pink porcelain elephant, about half an inch tall. Bright pink and perfectly formed.
    Very confused, Patti explains that she'll have to consult with the manager and disappears into a back office.
    She finds the manager and says: "There's a frog named Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000. And he wants to use this as collateral." She holds up the tiny pink elephant. "I mean, what the heck is this?"
    The bank manager looks back at her and says: "It's a knick knack, Patti Whack; give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone."